Archive for the ‘Team Work’ Category

While this blog is primarily about exploring thoughts, tips, techniques, and approaches for resolving conflict in teams, I thought it might be important to acknowledge that conflict can actually be a good thing in some situations.

Good conflicts are the natural result of people working together towards a common cause. Well-intentioned, hard-working people can have honest differences of opinion that can generate conflict.

As long as the involved parties avoid mean-spirited attacks, negative judgments of character, and act in ways that preserve the relationship rather than damage it; the conflict can be good. Under these conditions, conflicting approaches and thoughts generally lead to better, more thoroughly thought out solutions to problems.

So, as we continue to look for ways to deescalate and resolve negative conflicts, let’s also remember that not all conflict is a bad thing.

Photo by shuttermonkey.

I found this video today as I was looking around the web for new ideas and learning resources. At the moment, I don’t have much to say to add to this teacher’s comments.

I was really intrigued by her comment that young children are often better at finding creative solutions to conflicts than adults.

This is a quick video with some really powerful one-liners. I suggest you watch it and take note of this teacher’s keen insights into the essence of effective conflict resolution.

Here’s a summary of some key points (there are more good lessons in the video than I have noted):

• It’s important that we pay attention to the feelings expressed when discussing a problem because it’s the feelings that people can most often relate to and use to understand how their behavior impacts others.
• It strengthens relationships when we work together to meet both people’s needs.
• We think of solutions in a brainstorming way because solutions often generate new solutions.
• Conflict resolution skills apply to people of all ages.
• Younger children are often better at resolving conflicts than adults because they are more creative.

I really enjoy looking for good examples of conflict escalation, poor communication, and personality style clashes. A few months ago, I saw this episode of The Apprentice, and I thought it perfectly illustrated a common people-oriented vs. task-oriented conflict scenario. It also shows how NOT to resolve a conflict.

The interesting action for this post starts at the 3 minute 40 second mark where we see the interaction between Scott Hamilton and Tom Green begin. The part I’m commenting on runs for a little more than 2 minutes.

Just guessing from their behaviors, I would say that Scott has lots of task traits and that Tom has lots of people traits. My best guess is that Scott has really high “Cautious” traits and that Tom has really high “Inspiring” traits. If I’m guessing right, their primary behavioral traits are complete opposites of each other.

I don’t know everything about these two men.  I’m just basing my guess on what I see in this short clip.

Tom frantically tries to get noticed. A common “Inspiring” trait is to seek recognition. He makes a comment about “keeping himself entertained” and he complains that “they’re not listening to me” as he waves his arms in the air and says “they’re so focused on the task they don’t even know I’m there.”  Also common “I” traits.

Scott’s goal is to be “calm and organized.” A common “Cautious” trait is to seek structure. He makes reference to Tom as the “derailer” and he tells Tom to “sit and relax.”

I also notice that Tom pushes harder for interaction and that Scott withdraws more into the task as the conflict escalates. Two common signs of a task vs. people conflict.

I think both of them behaved in ways that made the conflict worse instead of better, and I’m not really trying to comment on who was more or less “right.” I want to keep the focus of this post on their interaction dynamics.

Notice that as each of them fights for what they want, the conflict gets worse and neither of them gets what they want.

The lesson we can learn from this interaction is simple to say and difficult to do: slow down to understand the other person’s perspective so that you can move towards resolution and away from escalation.

Redirected to http://businessrelationshiprx.com/2009/06/what-our-cats-taught-me-about-working-with-people/.

Tension between co-workers is one of the more common sources of emotional “pressure” build-up for people. Left unaddressed for long enough, the pressure can build to the point of a blow-up.  Fortunately, you can do something about it before the tension becomes a major conflict.

1. Create opportunities for people to better understand and appreciate their behavioral differences and similarities.

In my work with both teams and individuals over the last few years, this one concept has created more significant and long-lasting positive impact than any other that I have encountered.

Pretty much everyone can see that people come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and behavioral styles. Recognizing our differences does not always lead to better understanding and reduced tension. In many cases, just recognizing the differences without developing appreciation for them will increase the tension between people.

I use and recommend the DISC Model of Human Behavior as the tool to accomplish the goal of developing understanding and appreciation. Like any tool, DISC can be applied inappropriately. So, I also recommend that you work with a certified trainer or coach when you apply the principles of this model in your organization.

2. Give people a chance to improve their communication skills.

Misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and miscommunication form the basis for much of the tension between co-workers.

Studies of domestic violence indicate that poor communication skills are a major risk factor for personal conflicts to escalate to violence. The workplace does not generally trigger the same emotional response intensity as a family relationship. So, I seldom get concerned that workplace tension will reach the same intensity as many domestic disputes. Still, the learning point remains: better communication skills tend to reduce the tensions that lead to unresolved conflict.

3. Help people develop higher level conflict resolution skills.

Most people learn basic conflict resolution skills as they experience work and family situations. Sometimes, the nature, duration, or intensity of the conflict can grow beyond their normal skills in this area. When this happens, people do not know what to do to resolve the conflict; and the tensions begin to grow. Help people to develop higher level conflict resolution skills, and they will know how to reduce the tension without escalating the situation unnecessarily.

4. Clarify role responsibilities and how each person’s role aligns with both team and personal success.

Lack of clarity about role responsibilities and how each role aligns with team and personal success can create tension between co-workers. Taking the time to ensure absolute clarity about your expectations of each person’s responsibilities can reduce this source of tension in the workplace.

5. Create opportunities for low-stress “face-time.”

I once worked with a man who had previous experience as the vice-president of a major multi-national corporation. He told me that he saw people who had been friends, when they worked in the same office, begin to doubt and distrust each other when one of them moved to a new office in a different state or country. I have seen the same response in shift operations when one person moves to a new shift.

Part of our “trust wiring” seems to revolve around the social aspect of seeing people in person. Creating opportunities for low-stress face-to-face communications can provide some relief to low level tension between people.

Thought for Thursday: If you have unresolved tensions in your workplace, look for a solution in these five steps you can take to reduce tension between co-workers.

In many cases, workplace conflicts result from unmet expectations. You have one set of expectations. The people around you have a different set of expectations. No one has any malice or ill intention towards anyone else. They just expect a different set of behaviors, actions, and results.

When expectations go unmet, emotions tend to rise. When emotions rise, conflict tends to happen. With that thought in mind, I offer these three practical tips to reduce the risk of workplace conflicts that spriral out-of-control:

1. Clearly Defined Roles

This idea normally shows up in a list of requirements for a well structured performance management system. Today, I will give you another reason to take positive steps to ensure that the people around you clearly understand their role in relation to you.

By defined role, I mean that both parties (you and the other person) have a clear understanding of what both of you will do with regard to any task or project that you work on together. So, this could apply to a supervisor-team member relationship or to a relationship between two co-workers.

Take the time to clearly define your respective roles, and you minimize the possibility of destructive conflicts later.

2. Clearly Defined Timelines

Take the time to ensure that both of you agree to and understand the delivery dates and timelines for completion on any task.

In my past life as an engineer, I worked on plant start-up projects of all sizes. The ones that went well had well prepared project completion milestone documents. The ones that went poorly, did not have the same level of preplanning that created the milestone documents. In other words, the ones that went well had a way to make sure that everyone on the project knew what was due and when it was due. The ones that went poorly did not.

These projects were usually pretty complicated with regard to the number of people and tasks that had to be coordinated to complete the project on time. So, they needed elaborate flowcharts, Gantt charts, and Critical Path diagrams to keep them on track. I am not suggesting anything this complicated for a one-on-one situation. I am suggesting that we learn from these projects, and that we apply the principles to our personal lives.

When I was a young engineer, I thought the planning and document preparation was all about scheduling the tasks. Now I realize that planning and scheduling on large engineering projects is about scheduling the tasks AND about creating clear lines of communication. I now realize, that the people part (communication) is actually the bigger reason behind the time invested in the planning process.

I do not want to go overboard with the idea and suggest that you need a Gantt chart for everything you do with other people. I do suggest that you take the principle of clear communication to avoid conflict and apply it to checking and double-checking with other people to ensure clear, mutual understanding about expected timelines and delivery dates.

3. Open Lines of Communication

In my work with clients, I see that miscommunication leads to a large number of workplace conflicts. When you recognize miscommunication as the source of many conflicts, you can take proactive steps to prevent conflicts by investing your efforts into clear communication practices.

Take the time to make sure you have created a safe environment for people to approach you. Go out of your way to create opportunities to connect with the people around you. If you will work diligently in this area, you will make the previous two ideas easier to accomplish. As a result, you will significantly reduce both the number of conflicts that occur and the time it takes to resolve them when they happen.

I wrote this post mainly from the perspective of application in a workplace scenario. I hope it is clear that these ideas, applied in slightly different ways, also apply to other areas of life.

I have two colleagues. Both of them contribute something valuable to our personal and professional relationships. Both of them are good at what they do. Both of them have strong opinions. Both of them feel free to express their opinions. Both of them have direct and bottom-line communication styles. Both of them have a very strong task orientation. Both of them have a sarcastic approach to humor.

I respect what both of them “bring to the table.”

One of them makes a statement that I laugh at and accept as a joke. I might even reply with my own humorous sarcasm.

The other makes a similar statement that I take personally and accept as criticism. I might even directly challenge why they said something sarcastic to me.

What’s the difference? Why does one of them bring out a protective response and the other brings out a humorous one?

Is it them? Or, is it me?

While there are differences in their approaches. There are far more similarities than differences. The similarities make me wonder, “Could I be overly sensitive with one of them? Could I be looking for a reason to take offense?”

I’m not with you every day. I don’t know everything about every interaction you have. I am with me, and I know that sometimes (maybe  I should say “often”) the response other people get from me has more to do with my perception and my thinking than it has to do with them.

I think I need to check my thinking about some of the people in my life. I think I need to work on receiving them more openly and  less judgmentally so that we experience less conflict, our relationships can move forward, and our business ventures can prosper.

Over the next week,  I plan to focus on asking the question “Could it be me?” rather than assuming the problem is with them. Won’t you join me?

Guy Harris, The Recovering Engineer

     Many of the leaders that I work with express frustration with “attitudes” as they work to resolve workplace conflicts.

     Guy Harris, The Recovering Engineer

Related Articles:

Six Tips for Confronting Negative Behaviors

Address One Issue at a Time

Seven Ways to Improve Your Communication During a Conflict

Focus On The Future