Archive for the ‘Video’ Category

I found this video today as I was looking around the web for new ideas and learning resources. At the moment, I don’t have much to say to add to this teacher’s comments.

I was really intrigued by her comment that young children are often better at finding creative solutions to conflicts than adults.

This is a quick video with some really powerful one-liners. I suggest you watch it and take note of this teacher’s keen insights into the essence of effective conflict resolution.

Here’s a summary of some key points (there are more good lessons in the video than I have noted):

• It’s important that we pay attention to the feelings expressed when discussing a problem because it’s the feelings that people can most often relate to and use to understand how their behavior impacts others.
• It strengthens relationships when we work together to meet both people’s needs.
• We think of solutions in a brainstorming way because solutions often generate new solutions.
• Conflict resolution skills apply to people of all ages.
• Younger children are often better at resolving conflicts than adults because they are more creative.

I don’t really have anything profound to add to this video. I just liked it, and I’m sharing it with you.

Here’s a link to the Free Hugs website.

I really enjoy looking for good examples of conflict escalation, poor communication, and personality style clashes. A few months ago, I saw this episode of The Apprentice, and I thought it perfectly illustrated a common people-oriented vs. task-oriented conflict scenario. It also shows how NOT to resolve a conflict.

The interesting action for this post starts at the 3 minute 40 second mark where we see the interaction between Scott Hamilton and Tom Green begin. The part I’m commenting on runs for a little more than 2 minutes.

Just guessing from their behaviors, I would say that Scott has lots of task traits and that Tom has lots of people traits. My best guess is that Scott has really high “Cautious” traits and that Tom has really high “Inspiring” traits. If I’m guessing right, their primary behavioral traits are complete opposites of each other.

I don’t know everything about these two men.  I’m just basing my guess on what I see in this short clip.

Tom frantically tries to get noticed. A common “Inspiring” trait is to seek recognition. He makes a comment about “keeping himself entertained” and he complains that “they’re not listening to me” as he waves his arms in the air and says “they’re so focused on the task they don’t even know I’m there.”  Also common “I” traits.

Scott’s goal is to be “calm and organized.” A common “Cautious” trait is to seek structure. He makes reference to Tom as the “derailer” and he tells Tom to “sit and relax.”

I also notice that Tom pushes harder for interaction and that Scott withdraws more into the task as the conflict escalates. Two common signs of a task vs. people conflict.

I think both of them behaved in ways that made the conflict worse instead of better, and I’m not really trying to comment on who was more or less “right.” I want to keep the focus of this post on their interaction dynamics.

Notice that as each of them fights for what they want, the conflict gets worse and neither of them gets what they want.

The lesson we can learn from this interaction is simple to say and difficult to do: slow down to understand the other person’s perspective so that you can move towards resolution and away from escalation.