Posts Tagged ‘good example’

     The inspiration for this post comes from a book about Abraham Lincoln. Many years and probably more than 100 books later, I have long since forgotten which book gave me this thought. So, with apologies to the writer who penned words to this effect, let me share a lesson we can learn from the sixteenth president of the United States.   

     Much of Lincoln’s strength as a leader came from his ability to be righteous without becoming self-righteous.    

     Just to be clear, here are the definitions of the two words as listed at Dictionary.com:

righteous

1. characterized by uprightness or morality: a righteous observance of the law. 
2. morally right or justifiable: righteous indignation. 
3. acting in an upright, moral way; virtuous: a righteous and godly person.
 

self-righteous

1. confident of one’s own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.

     Lincoln seemed to have the ability to move and act in righteous (morally right ways) without becoming self-righteous (smugly moralistic and intolerant). He showed his capacity for maintaining this balance in an address he gave during the famous Lincoln-Douglas debates.

     As he addressed the crowd in Peoria on October 16, 1854 he said:

I hate [the spread of slavery] because of the monstrous injustice of slavery itself. I hate it because it deprives our republican example of its just influence in the world—enables the enemies of free institutions, with plausibility, to taunt us as hypocrites—causes the real friends of freedom to doubt our sincerity, and especially because it forces so many really good men amongst ourselves into an open war with the very fundamental principles of civil liberty—criticising the Declaration of Independence, and insisting that there is no right principle of action but self-interest.

Before proceeding, let me say I think I have no prejudice against the Southern people. They are just what we would be in their situation. If slavery did not now exist amongst them, they would not introduce it. If it did now exist amongst us, we should not instantly give it up. This I believe of the masses north and south. Doubtless there are individuals, on both sides, who would not hold slaves under any circumstances; and others who would gladly introduce slavery anew, if it were out of existence. We know that some southern men do free their slaves, go north, and become tip-top abolitionists; while some northern ones go south, and become most cruel slave-masters.

     Notice his ability to call out the immoral spread of slavery without simultaneously criticizing the people who wanted to spread it. He managed to condemn the behavior without condemning the people involved.

     In the day-to-day miscommunications and conflicts that arise as we work with other people, we can seldom claim a position as morally clear as Lincoln’s stand against slavery. Yet, many of us stake out morally “right” positions and then condemn people who might simply misunderstand us or disagree with us.

     As you confront conflict situations, you will likely have to confront truly bad behaviors from time to time. Normally, there are shades of gray as you work to resolve workplace and family conflicts. Even when the situation has clear right and wrong perspectives, remember Lincoln’s example and learn to act in a righteous (morally right) way without becoming self-righteous (smugly moralistic and intolerant).

     Guy Harris, The Recovering Engineer

“righteous.” Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 06 Nov. 2008. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/righteous

“self-righteous.” Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 06 Nov. 2008. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/self-righteous

     He was born in 1917. As the oldest son of a west Texas farmer, he became the man of the family at 17 when his father died. He raised his younger sister, took care of his mother, and married his sweetheart from east Texas.

     He worked a dairy farm. He worked construction. He worked with sheet metal. He worked with his hands until he became a sales engineer in the early days of commercial air conditioning in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

     Along the way, he cared for his family, loved his wife, and disciplined his three sons. He set an example of ethical behavior, honest speech, and unswerving integrity. His second son followed his example of hard work and honesty.

     The second son worked as a house painter. He worked with his hands until he graduated from college and began to teach. He moved from teaching to writing for newspapers to writing for utility companies. Like his father before him, he stood for honesty and integrity.

     He also cared for his family, loved his wife, and disciplined his children. He too set a great example.

     Two generations of leaders in their communities, their businesses, and their families. They set an example and they mentored others to become leaders as well. They set the example for me of what it means to be a leader, a husband, a father…a man.

     They are my grandfather and my father.

     My grandfather died in January of 2004. He was a great man all the way to the end. He never stopped taking care of my grandmother, and he never stopped setting a good example. My father now lives in Florida with my Mom. He still takes care of her, and he still sets a great example.

     I have learned about integrity, honesty, and character from many sources at this point in my life. None of them has been as important as my grandfather and my father. As Father’s day passes this year, I am reminded of the legacy of leadership they left for me. I hope and pray that, I too, will leave a similar legacy for my two daughters and their children.